I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Its about making memories worth repressing
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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