Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
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I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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