Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
