i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
