Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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