I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
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you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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