everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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