Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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