Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
