My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
