there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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