do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
