You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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