but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
