Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
