Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
