He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
