Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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