Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
