Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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