hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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