U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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