who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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