NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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