the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
