i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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