Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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