i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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