And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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