Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She said her name was "party"
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize