i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also, beer. Big fan.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
