on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Pants are for mortals
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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