Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
