only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize