I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is the high leading the old right now
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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