I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
