Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
