I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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