Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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