i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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