u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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