ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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