you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
