i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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