is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
