Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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