so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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