I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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