I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
