I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
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The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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