We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
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Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
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you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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