youre lurking in front of me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How does one acquire holy water?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
