Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
there's paper in my vomit.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
