I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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